Preview

Pillz read over the note again.



Primus had left it in Pillz' office. It had been two hours now since Primus had went out for a walk to "clear his head".



Pero stepped into the office.



Pero: All of his stuff is gone. He ran away. I ran away from home once. Well, more like rolled away from home. I was in a wheelchair because I broke my leg when I playing on my friends trampoline.



Pillz: Why did you run away?



Pero: Because the day after the accident, my parents bought me a trampoline.



Pillz decided to leave it at that and looked over the letter again.



Pillz: If he joined up with our enemies, then we have some serious problems.



Pero: Now they outnumber us even more.



Pillz: Yes, that and Primus knows our hideout and our weaknesses. This is going to be a mess. I tried to call him on his cell phone but he blocked my number. Try yours.



Pero: I don't own a cell phone.



Pillz: Why not, everyone else has one?



Pero: The fact that most people out there today never leave their house without their cellphone attached to ear is one more sign that we are becoming to dependent on technology. I will not allow myself become a slave to electronic convenience. That, and I can't afford one.



Pillz nodded.



Pillz: Let's just hope he comes to his senses.






Meanwhile, at the Duplex on 23rd.




Dealy Llama: Hold the fucking phone! When one of my enemies comes walking through my door, I don't shake the fucker's hand and welcome in.



Evil Gnome: I think we should listen to what he has to say.



Dealy Llama: That's exactly what he wants to do to us! He's obviously here to spy on us.



Primus was beginning to wonder if he made the right decision. He could no longer stand Pillz' attitude, but this Llama guy's attitude was even worse. But, he's already made it this far, no turning back now.



Primus: I'm not here to spy. I have left the Power Pack for good.



Radioactive Dude: Well, son, that's easy for you to say, but Llama here has a point. Last time we saw each you, you were fighting us. Now you want to join us out of the blue. I'm sorry, but we can't exactly trust you right from the get go.



Evil Gnome: Listen Primus, perhaps you should explain why you're here.



Primus: I got tired of Pillz' crap and I left. I thought I would join up with you guys. Simple as that.



Radioactive Dude: Now, I don't doubt for one second that Pillz has gotten under your skin. He knows how to press a person's button. But that's when you man up and show him that you can take his criticism and better yourself.



Primus: I didn't come here for a lecture.



Dealy Llama laughed.



Dealy Llama: I know what this boy's real problem is. He's got a problem with authority. Now, how do you expect to be a part of a team if you can't take orders.



Primus gave Llama a serious look.



Primus: I'd be the one in charge.



The other four looked at each other and laughed.



Primus: Fuck this! I don't need you guys. I can go solo. You guys need me more than I need you.



Primus began to walk out the door.



Radioactive Dude: Now hold your horses son. We didn't mean to insult you. It just struck us as funny that you'd be walking in here and placing yourself in charge.



Primus: I got info on the Power Pack. Info you need.



Dealy Llama: Enough of this! Listen here Pumice, you can give us all the "information" you want, still ain't going to make me trust you. Not until I put you through a test.



Llama honked his nose.



The Mrs. turned into a polygraph machine.



Radioactive Dude: Now, what is that contraption?



Dealy Llama: It's a lie detector. Let's strap this jerk up and see if he'll pass.



Primus: Fine, whatever it'll take.



Evil Gnome: I hate to intrude on this, but given what I've come to understand about his powers, they may help him pass a lie detector's test. Besides, just because she looks like a lie detector, doesn't mean she is one.



Llama honked his nose and the Mrs. returned to her original form.



Dealy Llama: He's right. It was just a test to see if he would agree. But those damn powers of his.



Radioactive Dude: Listen son, if we can come up with a test for you to do to prove your trust, will you do it, no questions asked?





Primus: Yes.





Llama smiled.



Dealy Llama: I got just the thing.





He honked his nose.









Back at Pillz' place.



Pillz: My cell is vibrating. I'm getting a message.



Pillz looked at his phone.



Pillz: It's from Primus. It's a video.



Pillz played the video and held it out for Pero to look too. The video contained Primus standing in a room with his pants down. He was receiving oral pleasure from someone that looked exactly like Pillz.



Pero: Great, now I owe him 20 bucks.



Pillz ignored this and skipped through the video, that's all there was.



Pero: You two didn't have to hide it from me. Yeah, it would have been awkward at first, but I would have gotten used to it.



Pillz: That wasn't me. It was probably Llama's Mrs. I just don't know what he's trying to do. He's either trying to insult me or he's going to try to blackmail me.



Pero: Maybe he did it to gain their trust.



Pillz: I don't see how, but, knowing them and knowing you, that's probably the reason.






Back at the Duplex.








Primus: Don't put that on the Internet!



Dealy Llama: Why not? You have to admit, she did a good job.



Primus: Yes she did, but people who see that will think I'm gay.



Evil Gnome: Then we'll put my face over yours.



Radioactive Dude: There's no need to put that video on the net. Primus has proved himself. Welcome to the team.





Primus: Thank you.



Dealy Llama: So, I guess we are the Fucktastic Five now. You better spill your guts Primo, cause those two may think you're ok, but I trust you about as much as I trust a librarian in a video store.



Primus: I don't know what that's supposed to mean.



Radioactive Dude: I don't believe any of us do. But no matter. We have plans for tomorrow. You will join us, and we'll see how far your loyalty to us is willing to go.








The Jaded Poet arrived at The Agency headquarters.





Lichton was there to greet him.





Lichton: Welcome back Poet. We're going straight to the conference room. Travis and a few other agents are there and we're going to discuss our new plans in light of these new circumstances.





Jaded Poet: The apostate paladin has brought a most refreshing course to these affairs.





Lichton: Indeed.





They made their way to the conference room. When Lichton had left it to greet Poet, everybody in the room was talking to each other. Now, they were silent.





Lichton: What's the matter.





Travis: The boss called. He's on his way over. He wants to be part of the meeting.





Lichton: The Emperor is coming here?





Travis: He'll be here in 15 minutes.





Lichton began to worry. He turned to Poet.





Lichton: This is not good.





Jaded Poet listened to this exchange, not feeling the same sense of dread everyone else felt. The Poet had yet to encounter "The Emperor".





Jaded Poet: Who is this Agency sovereign that has filled you all with such consternation.





Lichton sighed.





Lichton: It's not that we fear him, it's just that we really don't like him. The Agency was started by a great man. When he died ten years ago, he left his son in charge of all of this. The Council pretty much runs things, like it always has, but whenever the son wants in on something, we can't say no, because he is the de facto leader. And he's a little brat and he insists we call him Emperor.





Jaded Poet: Charming.





Lichton: If you'll excuse me, I have an announcement to make.





Lichton walked over to the phone that was mounted on the wall. He dialed the intercom. His voice was hear all over the Agency Headquarters.





Lichton: Attention Agency Employees. This is Agent Lichton. The Emperor will be here in less than 15 minutes. Remember the protocol for dealing with him. Do not look him directly in the eyes, especially if you are female. If he talks to you, asks you questions, give him short and direct answers, especially if you are female. If you see him coming in your direction, pretend that you are hard at work and to busy to engage in a conversation. Especially if you are female. Thank you.





Lichton looked over the people in the Conference Room.





Lichton: Did he say why he wanted to be here?





Travis: He has taken an interest in the Power Pack.





Lichton shook his head.





Lichton: This is not going to be good.








Pillz and Pero arrived at Pero's house.





Pillz: Who's car is that in the drive?





Pero: My mom's.





Pillz: I thought you said she wouldn't be home.





Pero: She home now.





Pillz: Ok then. Will she mind me being here.





Pero: I'll just tell her you're my imaginary friend.





Pillz: But, she'll be able to see me.





Pero: That's what she calls all the guys she brings home with her.





Pillz: I just hope she's as interesting as you.





Pillz and Pero entered the house.





Pero's mom was standing in the living room. She was 35, tall, blonde, and beautiful. She could have been a model. Pillz mouth dropped. She was the opposite of what he was expecting.





Pero's Mom: Hello Pero. I see you've brought a friend. Make yourself at home. Can I get you boys something to drink?





Pero: Bring me a coke mom. This is Pillz by the way,





Pero's mom walked over and shook Pillz' hand.





Pero's Mom: It's so nice to meet one of Pero's friends. He hardly brings them over.





Pillz: it's finally nice to meet you mam. Pero talks about you quite a bit.





Pero's Mom: Nothing too bad I hope.





Pillz: Not at all.





Pero's mom brought them a couple of cokes. They went into Pero's room.





Pillz: Your mother is the complete opposite of what I expected her to be.





Pero: That's not my real mother. Just my step-mom.





Pillz: You never told me your parents were divorced.





Pero: They're not.





Pillz tried his best to comprehend what he had just encountered, but decided it was mystery best left unsolved. Besides, he had a bigger problem.





Pillz: Okay, we need to figure out our next step.





Pero: What about getting some new people to join our team?





Pillz: That's a good idea. If we knew any other people with superpowers.





Pero: I do.





Pillz: From where?





Pero: The ASMB.





Pillz: The ASMB?





Pero: Yes. The Awesome Superpowers Message Board.





Pillz: I have never heard of that.





Pero: It's a good place. I'll tell them we are having tryouts for the team. They can come here. We'll set it up for tomorrow. How does that sound?





Pillz: This could work. Here, I'll make out a list of requirements.





They got to work. An hour later, the bulletin was posted.





Back at The Agency...





The intercom in the Conference Room buzzed. Lichton answered it. The voice on the other end told him that the Emperor had arrived.





Lichton: Here we go. Brace yourselves.





Jaded Poet: Does this Sultan of Exasperation have an appellation?





Lichton: Zeni. We call him Emperor Zeni.





Emperor Zeni stepped in The Agency.





He immediately began to scan the room for girls. He saw one. Sitting at her desk. She glanced up at him, only for a second.





That's all he needed to know that she was interested.





He made is way over to her.





Emeror Zeni: Hey there. I couldn't help but notice you were checking me out. Can't blame you. If I were a woman, I'd check me out to. Look at this.





Zeni began to flex his right arm.





Emperor Zeni: See that? That's all me. I don't take drugs for that. That's hard work. Would you like to go out some time? Don't think that you have to because I'm your boss. I know you like me. I can see it in your eyes. What's your number.





Lichton entered the room.





Lichton: Emperor Zeni! We are anxiously awaiting your arrival down in the conference room.





Emperor Zeni: I'll talk to you later babe





Lichton: Right this way sir.





Lichton led Zeni over to the elevator. Zeni looked back at the girl and made the phone gesture with his hand. He winked at her.





They got into the elevator.





Emperor Zeni: I think she likes me. But she didn't talk to me. She just wanted me with her eyes. So it's probably going to be a one night stand kind of a thing. That's fine with me. I'd like to have a real relationship though, know what I mean? Not one of these cheap sluts that just wants a guy for his body. You married?





Lichton: Yes I am sir. You came to my wedding. It was last year.





Emperor Zeni: Oh yeah. Sorry about that.





The elevator stopped.





Before they entered the conference room, Zeni stopped in his tracks.





Emperor Zeni: Hold on a second, I have to get ready for this.





Zeni began to run back and forth across the hallway. He then jumped to ground and began to do oush-ups.





Emperor Zeni: Come on! Come on! Ten more. Ten more!





He jumped back up and slapped himself across the face.





Emperor Zeni: Let's do this.





Lichton: It's just a meeting sir. There's really no need to get worked up like that.





Emperor Zeni: It's how I do it. It's my killer instinct. That's what I do before I enter any room. I step in there, and people see me. They no better than to mess.





Lichton: Ok then. Let's go inside.





Zeni scanned hroom for some girls. He saw none and let out a sigh. He then laid his eyes on Jaded Poet. He walked over to him.





Emperor Zeni: So, you're the badass I've been hearing about. You don't look so tough to me.





Zeni started to box the air around Poet. Poet stood still.





Emperor Zeni: If this had been the real thing, you'd be out before you could say "Roses are red".


You know, I'm actually a bit of a poet myself. I'm a rapper.





Jaded Poet: That's excellent sir.





Emperor Zeni: Let's get to buisness. The Power Pack. We are trying to kill them, right?





Lichton: Well, we were monitoring them and taking notes to see if they are threat. But as it stands right now, they are becoming less of a threat.





Emperor Zeni: How so?





Lichton: There are only two of them now. Pillz and Pero. Primus defected to the team we created to fight with them.





Emperor Zeni: Well hell, that makes it easier for us to get ris of The Power Pack. I'd do it myself. Superman and Green Lantern ain't got nothing on me.





Lichton: Well, technically, Pero is the Incredible...





Emperor Zeni cut him off.





Emperor Zeni: I don't care if he is technically Mighty Mouse. Watch this.





Zeni picked up one of the empty chairs and hurled across the room. He then jumped on the conference table and did a back flip.





Lichton: Very impressive sir.





Emperor Zeni: God damn right. The Power Pack would shit themselves if they saw that action.





Lichton: Well, our concern right now is with the Power Pack. It's with the team we have created. We do not have control over them.





Jaded Poet: There is another quandry that has presented itself. Our two remaining members of the Power Pack might be looking to fill the void left by their former comrade.





Lichton: That's a very good point. They would look for new members. I think it's a good idea to activate a sleeper agent.





Emperor Zeni: A sleepr agent? What are those? Do you mean we have agnets that are sleeping on the job?





Lichton: No. That's not what that mean. It means we have agents in the field that don't do anything until we give them orders.





Emperor Zeni: Good. Because if I find out I have people working for me and all they do is sleep, I'll deal with them persoanlly.





Zeni did a karate kick.





Lichton: I want a list of our sleeper agents in an hour. Let's get to work on this people.