Choices
Gweg decided he needed to go out looking for her. But where?
Gweg was starting to feel desperate. He then had an idea. He knew who to get a hold of for help.
Gweg made the most important call of his life.
Later, at the studio apartment.
Satyr: Damn it, Cyber! I told you after I'm done!
Cyber: You promised me!
Satyr: I know, but there are still some more positions we have to film here!
Satyr was standing over a very naked Marie.
The film Satyr was making was a porno. A "Choose Your Porn Adventure" is what he called it.
The porno was strictly for DVD. The viewer would be able to make choices as to who the main character would have sex with, how, and where.
The main character was Satyr himself. Satyr had used the HARM Ray to get Marie to "act" in the porno. The mesmeric effect only lasted five hours.
There had one hour left to go until she came out of it.
Cyber: Well hurry it up, I'm not going to have a lot of time with her before we have to get her back to her house.
Satyr: I would be able to do this a lot faster if I didn't have to stop for your goddamn whining.
Cyber: Just hurry up.
Satyr: I need some Gatorade. Hey Gweg, you're standing next to the cooler, why don't you grab me one? Oh shit!
Gweg had entered the building a few seconds prior and was staring at Gweg with a red hot rage.
Satyr: Gweg, I can explain everything you are seeing here.
Gweg: Marie, what are you doing here?
Satyr: She's a porn star Gweg. And on the set, she won't answer to anything but her porn star name, which is Ocean Spray.
Gweg: Ocean Spray?
Satyr: That's right, made from the best stuff on Earth.
Cyber: That's Snapple.
Satyr: Whatever.
Gweg: Oh Marie, why didn't you tell me.
Satyr: I told you, she won't answer you.
Gweg: I cannot accept this. You probably brainwashed her, you miserable fuck!
A man stepped up behind Gweg.
The Man: As a matter of fact, he did.
Satyr: You! What the fuck are you doing here?
Gweg: I need his help to find Marie. Now, I'm going to let him and his two friends help me kick your ass.
Satyr: Please. Those pathetic losers, you guys don't stand a chance.
The Man: Four against two. I think the odds are in our favor. Power Pact, Assemble!
The Man and Gweg were joined by two others. One was a scraggly looking teenager. The other was a huge yellow hulk of a man.
It was Pillz, Primus, and Pero.
Cyber: Quick, shoot them with the HARM Ray!
Satyr: I can't! There is only one dose left!
Cyber: Why didn't you make more?
Satyr: The five doses was all I could create at one time. And after I invent or create something, I completely forget how to do it again.
Cyber: What?
Satyr: That's was deal I made with Xaracathia. Never trust a Dark Lord. She slipped that whole "forgetting" thing under my nose. Fucking bitch.
Cyber: So we're screwed?
Satyr: Not quite.
Primus: Shut up you two, and prepare to take your punishment like men.
Satyr: He is a centaur and I am a satyr. We are more evolved than you so-called men.
Pillz: I have got my power ring aimed right at you Satyr. One more quip out of you, and I will shoot a punching glove covered in spikes right at your forehead.
Satyr: I have one last thing to say then I'll let you do whatever you want with us.
Cyber: What are you doing?
Satyr: Hey, Pero! If you kill your friends here, I'll let you have sex with this pretty lady!
PeroHulk: Pero kiss pretty girl?
Satyr: That's right Pero!
Primus: No Pero, he's lying!
PeroHulk: Pero smash friends, Pero kiss pretty girl!
PeroHulk reached out and grabbed Primus.
Primus: Ah hell.
Primus turned his entire body into water and slipped out of PeroHulk's grasp.
Satyr: How in the fuck did you do that!
Primus: I got bitten by a radioactive mermaid.
Satyr: You what? Nevermind. Pero, smash Pillz!
Pillz aimed his power ring at Marie and caused her to disappear.
Pillz: See Pero, there isn't a lady anymore. Now you don't have to hurt us.
PeroHulk: No more lady?
Pillz: That's right, no more lady.
PeroHulk looked over at Cyber and Satyr.
PeroHulk: Pero smash.
Satyr grabbed the HARM Ray and shot Pillz with it.
Satyr: Pillz, I am now your new master. You will call off Pero and get you and your team out of here.
Pillz: Your little toy didn't work on me.
PeroHulk moved towards them and was ready to smash, but Cyber spit right into his eyes.
PeroHulk: Pero no can see!
Pillz: Enough of this!
Pillz aimed his ring at Satyr. As soon as he did, Marie was visible again.
Satyr grabbed her and held her up in front of him as a shield.
Satyr: Anything you do to me, you'll do to her.
Gweg: No! Pillz, don't do it!
Pillz put his hand down.
Pillz: Your move, Satyr.
Satyr: Alright, you three leave, and I'll let her go.
Primus: We can't trust him.
Pillz: I know. Don't worry, I have a plan.
PeroHulk had returned to his normal state.
Pero: Ah, I can't see anything. I guess mom was right. She said if I continue to do that nasty thing, I would eventually go blind. She also said I would get hairy palms, but I never did. I did get hairy down there though. I once tried to dye the hair down there purple, but it didn't work. Purple is my favorite color. It's Samuel L. Jackson's favorite color too. He was in my favorite movie, Sphere. That was written by the same guy who wrote Jurassic Park, I liked that movie too. Those dinosaurs scared me. Whenever I get scared, I always wet my pants. I use to wet the bed a lot too. Mom said it was because I played with fire. This one time, I set fire to my sister's dollhouse. It burned very quickly. My sister got mad and burned my favorite comic. I burned my sister. Mom decided it was best to bury her in the backyard and tell the police that she was kidnapped by a black man. The police never found him. I like that one black guy. He was a singer. He was also blind. I guess he did that nasty thing too much too.
Pillz, Primus, and Gweg stared at Pero. None of them had realized that Satyr and Cyber escaped out of the window while they were distracted.
Satyr: Thank Pan that idiot went off on one of his stupid ramblings. We might have never gotten out of that.
Cyber: We are not out of the woods yet. They will see that we are gone and come after us, what are we going to do?
Satyr: We are going to have to make a deal.
Pillz: There they are!
Satyr: Wait! Hold it. I surrender.
Gweg: It's not going to be that easy Satyr. You basically raped my girlfriend. I'll never be able to look at her the same way now that you have gotten your hands on her.
Satyr: Ok. I made a mistake. I'm willing to make up for it.
Gweg: You bet your ass you will.
One month later.
Gweg: Why are you still looking miserable? You should be happy, your porno is a hit.
Satyr: Get the fuck away from me. That wasn't my porno. You guys scrapped my porno.
Gweg: Oh come on. It never would have been as popular as "Brokeback Satyr" turned out to be.
Satyr: I hate this ending.
The End.
Gweg was starting to feel desperate. He then had an idea. He knew who to get a hold of for help.
Gweg made the most important call of his life.
Later, at the studio apartment.
Satyr: Damn it, Cyber! I told you after I'm done!
Cyber: You promised me!
Satyr: I know, but there are still some more positions we have to film here!
Satyr was standing over a very naked Marie.
The film Satyr was making was a porno. A "Choose Your Porn Adventure" is what he called it.
The porno was strictly for DVD. The viewer would be able to make choices as to who the main character would have sex with, how, and where.
The main character was Satyr himself. Satyr had used the HARM Ray to get Marie to "act" in the porno. The mesmeric effect only lasted five hours.
There had one hour left to go until she came out of it.
Cyber: Well hurry it up, I'm not going to have a lot of time with her before we have to get her back to her house.
Satyr: I would be able to do this a lot faster if I didn't have to stop for your goddamn whining.
Cyber: Just hurry up.
Satyr: I need some Gatorade. Hey Gweg, you're standing next to the cooler, why don't you grab me one? Oh shit!
Gweg had entered the building a few seconds prior and was staring at Gweg with a red hot rage.
Satyr: Gweg, I can explain everything you are seeing here.
Gweg: Marie, what are you doing here?
Satyr: She's a porn star Gweg. And on the set, she won't answer to anything but her porn star name, which is Ocean Spray.
Gweg: Ocean Spray?
Satyr: That's right, made from the best stuff on Earth.
Cyber: That's Snapple.
Satyr: Whatever.
Gweg: Oh Marie, why didn't you tell me.
Satyr: I told you, she won't answer you.
Gweg: I cannot accept this. You probably brainwashed her, you miserable fuck!
A man stepped up behind Gweg.
The Man: As a matter of fact, he did.
Satyr: You! What the fuck are you doing here?
Gweg: I need his help to find Marie. Now, I'm going to let him and his two friends help me kick your ass.
Satyr: Please. Those pathetic losers, you guys don't stand a chance.
The Man: Four against two. I think the odds are in our favor. Power Pact, Assemble!
The Man and Gweg were joined by two others. One was a scraggly looking teenager. The other was a huge yellow hulk of a man.
It was Pillz, Primus, and Pero.
Cyber: Quick, shoot them with the HARM Ray!
Satyr: I can't! There is only one dose left!
Cyber: Why didn't you make more?
Satyr: The five doses was all I could create at one time. And after I invent or create something, I completely forget how to do it again.
Cyber: What?
Satyr: That's was deal I made with Xaracathia. Never trust a Dark Lord. She slipped that whole "forgetting" thing under my nose. Fucking bitch.
Cyber: So we're screwed?
Satyr: Not quite.
Primus: Shut up you two, and prepare to take your punishment like men.
Satyr: He is a centaur and I am a satyr. We are more evolved than you so-called men.
Pillz: I have got my power ring aimed right at you Satyr. One more quip out of you, and I will shoot a punching glove covered in spikes right at your forehead.
Satyr: I have one last thing to say then I'll let you do whatever you want with us.
Cyber: What are you doing?
Satyr: Hey, Pero! If you kill your friends here, I'll let you have sex with this pretty lady!
PeroHulk: Pero kiss pretty girl?
Satyr: That's right Pero!
Primus: No Pero, he's lying!
PeroHulk: Pero smash friends, Pero kiss pretty girl!
PeroHulk reached out and grabbed Primus.
Primus: Ah hell.
Primus turned his entire body into water and slipped out of PeroHulk's grasp.
Satyr: How in the fuck did you do that!
Primus: I got bitten by a radioactive mermaid.
Satyr: You what? Nevermind. Pero, smash Pillz!
Pillz aimed his power ring at Marie and caused her to disappear.
Pillz: See Pero, there isn't a lady anymore. Now you don't have to hurt us.
PeroHulk: No more lady?
Pillz: That's right, no more lady.
PeroHulk looked over at Cyber and Satyr.
PeroHulk: Pero smash.
Satyr grabbed the HARM Ray and shot Pillz with it.
Satyr: Pillz, I am now your new master. You will call off Pero and get you and your team out of here.
Pillz: Your little toy didn't work on me.
PeroHulk moved towards them and was ready to smash, but Cyber spit right into his eyes.
PeroHulk: Pero no can see!
Pillz: Enough of this!
Pillz aimed his ring at Satyr. As soon as he did, Marie was visible again.
Satyr grabbed her and held her up in front of him as a shield.
Satyr: Anything you do to me, you'll do to her.
Gweg: No! Pillz, don't do it!
Pillz put his hand down.
Pillz: Your move, Satyr.
Satyr: Alright, you three leave, and I'll let her go.
Primus: We can't trust him.
Pillz: I know. Don't worry, I have a plan.
PeroHulk had returned to his normal state.
Pero: Ah, I can't see anything. I guess mom was right. She said if I continue to do that nasty thing, I would eventually go blind. She also said I would get hairy palms, but I never did. I did get hairy down there though. I once tried to dye the hair down there purple, but it didn't work. Purple is my favorite color. It's Samuel L. Jackson's favorite color too. He was in my favorite movie, Sphere. That was written by the same guy who wrote Jurassic Park, I liked that movie too. Those dinosaurs scared me. Whenever I get scared, I always wet my pants. I use to wet the bed a lot too. Mom said it was because I played with fire. This one time, I set fire to my sister's dollhouse. It burned very quickly. My sister got mad and burned my favorite comic. I burned my sister. Mom decided it was best to bury her in the backyard and tell the police that she was kidnapped by a black man. The police never found him. I like that one black guy. He was a singer. He was also blind. I guess he did that nasty thing too much too.
Pillz, Primus, and Gweg stared at Pero. None of them had realized that Satyr and Cyber escaped out of the window while they were distracted.
Satyr: Thank Pan that idiot went off on one of his stupid ramblings. We might have never gotten out of that.
Cyber: We are not out of the woods yet. They will see that we are gone and come after us, what are we going to do?
Satyr: We are going to have to make a deal.
Pillz: There they are!
Satyr: Wait! Hold it. I surrender.
Gweg: It's not going to be that easy Satyr. You basically raped my girlfriend. I'll never be able to look at her the same way now that you have gotten your hands on her.
Satyr: Ok. I made a mistake. I'm willing to make up for it.
Gweg: You bet your ass you will.
One month later.
Gweg: Why are you still looking miserable? You should be happy, your porno is a hit.
Satyr: Get the fuck away from me. That wasn't my porno. You guys scrapped my porno.
Gweg: Oh come on. It never would have been as popular as "Brokeback Satyr" turned out to be.
Satyr: I hate this ending.
The End.
posted by Virtual Satyr at 7:54 AM
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