Choices

Gweg decided to sit at home and wait for her to call.

It was the longest four hours of his life.

During that time, he kept calling her and fearing the worst. Did she decide not to see him anymore? Did she get into an accident? He didn't know.

He decided to call the hospital and see if anyone matching Marie's description had been brought in.

Gweg was relieved to hear there wasn't.

At seven o'clock, the phone rang, Gweg immediately answered it.

Gweg: Hello.

Marie: Oh Gweg, I am so sorry.

Gweg: What happened?

Marie: I don't remember much, but I just woke up in my bedroom. I don't even know how I got here.

Gweg: Are you alright?

Marie: Yeah, I got a splitting headache. But I feel so awful, I saw the time and realized I hadn't talked to you today... I don't know, I guess I must have came home and passed out on my bed from exhaustion or something.

Gweg: Well, as long as you are alright. I was so worried something happened to you.

Marie: I'm sorry. I just don't know. I'll make it up to you. We'll spend the whole day together tomorrow.

Gweg: I would like that.

Marie: I would come over now, but this headache.

Gweg: That's alright. Take some medicine and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow.

Marie: It's a date.

Gweg hung up the phone. As he was doing so, Satyr walked into the apartment.

Satyr: Where's your honey at? I was expecting to see her here again.

Gweg: She's not felling to well.

Satyr: That is a shame. Well, today was a very productive day for my film.

Gweg: Yeah, I bet. I'm going to go take a shower and then I'm going to bed.

Satyr: Don't drown.

Gweg left the room. Satyr let our a sigh of relief.

Satyr thought to himself, "If he ever found out what I did, oh boy, would I be in for it then."

The next several days went by without a hitch. Satyr's movie was going along pretty well, and Gweg and Marie's relationship was getting stronger.

On the same night that Satyr was throwing a party at the studio apartment to celebrate the release of his film, Marie and Gweg were going to get more intimate in their relationship.

Marie: Are you sure your roommate won't barge in on us tonight?

Gweg: Yes. He's at some stupid party.

Marie: That's good. Tonight is going to be a special night for us.

Gweg: Every night with you is a special night.

Marie: Ok Gweg, I have never met a man as sweet as you.

Gweg: And I have never met a woman as fantastic as you.

Marie wrapped her arms around Gweg and kissed him deeply.

Marie: It makes me happy to hear those things Gweg, but I fear that what I'm about to tell you, you'll think less of me.

Gweg: I don't think that's possible.

Marie: Well you see, in order for me to fully get into the mood for sex, I need to watch an adult film.

Gweg: That's ok Marie. I've heard of such things. It's perfectly alright.

Marie: You are the greatest man in the world.

Marie: I brought a brand new one with me. It just came out today. It's called "Choose Your Porn Adventure".

Gweg smiled at the title and then realized something.

Marie saw the look on his face.

Marie: What's wrong honey?

Gweg: I have a bad feeling about this porno.

Marie: The guy said it was one of the best he's ever seen. And he looked like he has seen a lot. Let's just put it in and see how it is.

Gweg let Marie put it in and felt the walls closing in on him. There was no way in hell it was going to be a coincidence.

The DVD started and the first thing to come on the screen was Satyr.

(On the TV) Satyr: Hello. My name is Satyr and this is the world's first "Choose Your Porn Adventure"! You will guide me and make my decisions for me as I go for a sexual romp. So, I beg you, please choose wisely. Let's get started.

Marie: Oh my god, that's your roommate!

Gweg: So, this was the film he was talking about. I should have known.

Marie: I'm so sorry. I didn't know.

Gweg: It's alright. It's not your fault.

Marie: I'm sorry, tonight was going to be special. And this was the only porno I brought.

Gweg: That's ok, I found a few that Satyr hasn't returned to the video rental yet, we can watch one of those.

Marie: Dang. I really wanted to see what this was going to be all about.

On the TV, the video camera had followed Satyr into a bar. Satyr was talking to some bar slut and the option came on as to whether or not the viewer wanted Satyr to have sex with her or not.

Gweg: Give me that controller, I'm going to get a little bit of satisfaction from this DVD.

Marie: What are you going to do?

Gweg: I'm going to make him turn down all of these women.

Gweg had made Satyr turn down the first five women, when he got to the sixth one, he was in for a shock.

Gweg: Oh my god!

The sixth woman was Marie:

Marie: What the? No, I didn't? That can't be me!

Gweg looked at the screen and back at Marie. There was no mistaking, it was her.

Marie: I swear to God and Jesus, I did not do this. I would never do this.

Gweg believed her. But how did Satyr do it. He stopped the DVD.

Marie burst into tears.

Satyr had crossed the one line that Gweg never though he'd be capable of crossing. But he did, and now he was going to pay.

Gweg had found out where Satyr's party was at. Gweg was going there with every intention of putting the hurt on Satyr. Marie insisted on going with him.

Gweg and Marie left the apartment building and got into his station wagon.

Little did they know that they were being watched..

Gweg arrived at the studio apartment were Satyr was having his party.

There were a little over twenty people there, including Satyr and Cyber. They were watching the porno on a big screen TV.

Satyr was standing next to the TV when he saw Gweg and Marie walking into the room.

Satyr: Hey, it's my friend Gweg and his lovely lady.

There were gasps around the room.

Gweg: I see your watching your porno. Why don't you get to the part where you rape my girlfriend?

Satyr: Rape is such a strong word Gweg. She gave it up willingly.

Marie: That's a lie.

Gweg: How did you do it Satyr?

Satyr: Well, if you really must know, I did it with this!

Satyr whipped out his gun.

Satyr: It's my HARM Ray Gun!

Gweg: Harm?

Satyr: That's right. It stands for... What does it stand for again?

Cyber: Hypno And Reducer Memory.

Satyr: That's right. And it makes anybody my willing slave!

Gweg: That's nice, but I've got a gun of my own.

Gweg whipped out his gun. It was a pistol. Gweg aimed it at Satyr.

Satyr's eyes widened, but he wasn't looking at Gweg's gun, he was looking past Gweg.

Satyr: Gweg, look out it's the...

Gweg didn't;t hear the rest of what Satyr was saying because Marie had let out a scream. Marie was being held by two disembodied arms.

And right next to Marie and the arms, was the Quadriplegiclegic Mime.

Satyr: Wow, it's deja-vu all over again.

(Speaking through telepathy)Quadriplegic Mime: I warned you two that I would have my revenge!

Gweg: No, leave her alone!

Quadriplegic Mime: I don't think so.

The two disembodied arms started to some odd movements around Marie. They went out in front of her and started pressing their palms flat against the air.

Gweg: They are forming an invisible box around you, run!

Marie turned around, but was greeted by a disembodied leg.. It jumped up and kicked Marie in the head, knocking her unconscious.

Another leg appeared and from out of nowhere and kicked the gun out from Gweg's hands.

Gweg made a motion towards the Mime, but the legs jumped in front of him.

Quadriplegic Mime: I wouldn't take one step closer Gweg. My legs have been learning karate and they will kick your ass.

The arms had finished making their box. Gweg had no choice but to watch the woman suffocate before his very eyes.

Gweg: I will kill you for this!

QM: In your dreams Gweg!

Satyr had come up to the mime.

QM: Ah the satyr: Don't worry, I've' got something special for you.

Satyr: I've got something special for you too.

QM: Oh yes, what?

Satyr brought about a tube of hand lotion.

Satyr: It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again.

The Mime mouthed out a scream and the arms grabbed a hold of the wheelchair bars and pushed the Mime away from harm.

Gweg looked over at Satyr.

Gweg: If it wasn't for you, none of this wouldn't have happened.

Gweg bent down and picked up his gun. Satyr was quicker on the draw. Satyr shot Gweg with the HARM Ray.

Satyr told Gweg that he had to go home and forget everything he saw tonight and that Marie had died in a freak shopping bag accident. He told Gweg to go home and get some sleep.

Satyr went back inside the studio apartment and told everybody to go home. Only he and Cyber remained.

Cyber: What's going to keep all of them from talking about what happened.

Satyr: They all work in the porn industry. They have no morals.

Cyber: Well, it's not fair. I never got to have my way with her while she was under your spell.

Satyr went over to Marie's body, picked it up and tossed it in front of Cyber.

Satyr: There, she's all your now.


The End

Choices

Gweg decided he needed to go out looking for her. But where?

Gweg was starting to feel desperate. He then had an idea. He knew who to get a hold of for help.

Gweg made the most important call of his life.

Later, at the studio apartment.

Satyr: Damn it, Cyber! I told you after I'm done!

Cyber: You promised me!

Satyr: I know, but there are still some more positions we have to film here!

Satyr was standing over a very naked Marie.

The film Satyr was making was a porno. A "Choose Your Porn Adventure" is what he called it.

The porno was strictly for DVD. The viewer would be able to make choices as to who the main character would have sex with, how, and where.

The main character was Satyr himself. Satyr had used the HARM Ray to get Marie to "act" in the porno. The mesmeric effect only lasted five hours.

There had one hour left to go until she came out of it.

Cyber: Well hurry it up, I'm not going to have a lot of time with her before we have to get her back to her house.

Satyr: I would be able to do this a lot faster if I didn't have to stop for your goddamn whining.

Cyber: Just hurry up.

Satyr: I need some Gatorade. Hey Gweg, you're standing next to the cooler, why don't you grab me one? Oh shit!

Gweg had entered the building a few seconds prior and was staring at Gweg with a red hot rage.

Satyr: Gweg, I can explain everything you are seeing here.

Gweg: Marie, what are you doing here?

Satyr: She's a porn star Gweg. And on the set, she won't answer to anything but her porn star name, which is Ocean Spray.

Gweg: Ocean Spray?

Satyr: That's right, made from the best stuff on Earth.

Cyber: That's Snapple.

Satyr: Whatever.

Gweg: Oh Marie, why didn't you tell me.

Satyr: I told you, she won't answer you.

Gweg: I cannot accept this. You probably brainwashed her, you miserable fuck!

A man stepped up behind Gweg.

The Man: As a matter of fact, he did.

Satyr: You! What the fuck are you doing here?

Gweg: I need his help to find Marie. Now, I'm going to let him and his two friends help me kick your ass.

Satyr: Please. Those pathetic losers, you guys don't stand a chance.

The Man: Four against two. I think the odds are in our favor. Power Pact, Assemble!

The Man and Gweg were joined by two others. One was a scraggly looking teenager. The other was a huge yellow hulk of a man.

It was Pillz, Primus, and Pero.

Cyber: Quick, shoot them with the HARM Ray!

Satyr: I can't! There is only one dose left!

Cyber: Why didn't you make more?

Satyr: The five doses was all I could create at one time. And after I invent or create something, I completely forget how to do it again.

Cyber: What?

Satyr: That's was deal I made with Xaracathia. Never trust a Dark Lord. She slipped that whole "forgetting" thing under my nose. Fucking bitch.

Cyber: So we're screwed?

Satyr: Not quite.

Primus: Shut up you two, and prepare to take your punishment like men.

Satyr: He is a centaur and I am a satyr. We are more evolved than you so-called men.

Pillz: I have got my power ring aimed right at you Satyr. One more quip out of you, and I will shoot a punching glove covered in spikes right at your forehead.

Satyr: I have one last thing to say then I'll let you do whatever you want with us.

Cyber: What are you doing?

Satyr: Hey, Pero! If you kill your friends here, I'll let you have sex with this pretty lady!

PeroHulk: Pero kiss pretty girl?

Satyr: That's right Pero!

Primus: No Pero, he's lying!

PeroHulk: Pero smash friends, Pero kiss pretty girl!

PeroHulk reached out and grabbed Primus.

Primus: Ah hell.

Primus turned his entire body into water and slipped out of PeroHulk's grasp.

Satyr: How in the fuck did you do that!

Primus: I got bitten by a radioactive mermaid.

Satyr: You what? Nevermind. Pero, smash Pillz!

Pillz aimed his power ring at Marie and caused her to disappear.

Pillz: See Pero, there isn't a lady anymore. Now you don't have to hurt us.

PeroHulk: No more lady?

Pillz: That's right, no more lady.

PeroHulk looked over at Cyber and Satyr.

PeroHulk: Pero smash.

Satyr grabbed the HARM Ray and shot Pillz with it.

Satyr: Pillz, I am now your new master. You will call off Pero and get you and your team out of here.

Pillz: Your little toy didn't work on me.

PeroHulk moved towards them and was ready to smash, but Cyber spit right into his eyes.

PeroHulk: Pero no can see!

Pillz: Enough of this!

Pillz aimed his ring at Satyr. As soon as he did, Marie was visible again.

Satyr grabbed her and held her up in front of him as a shield.

Satyr: Anything you do to me, you'll do to her.

Gweg: No! Pillz, don't do it!

Pillz put his hand down.

Pillz: Your move, Satyr.

Satyr: Alright, you three leave, and I'll let her go.

Primus: We can't trust him.

Pillz: I know. Don't worry, I have a plan.

PeroHulk had returned to his normal state.

Pero: Ah, I can't see anything. I guess mom was right. She said if I continue to do that nasty thing, I would eventually go blind. She also said I would get hairy palms, but I never did. I did get hairy down there though. I once tried to dye the hair down there purple, but it didn't work. Purple is my favorite color. It's Samuel L. Jackson's favorite color too. He was in my favorite movie, Sphere. That was written by the same guy who wrote Jurassic Park, I liked that movie too. Those dinosaurs scared me. Whenever I get scared, I always wet my pants. I use to wet the bed a lot too. Mom said it was because I played with fire. This one time, I set fire to my sister's dollhouse. It burned very quickly. My sister got mad and burned my favorite comic. I burned my sister. Mom decided it was best to bury her in the backyard and tell the police that she was kidnapped by a black man. The police never found him. I like that one black guy. He was a singer. He was also blind. I guess he did that nasty thing too much too.

Pillz, Primus, and Gweg stared at Pero. None of them had realized that Satyr and Cyber escaped out of the window while they were distracted.

Satyr: Thank Pan that idiot went off on one of his stupid ramblings. We might have never gotten out of that.

Cyber: We are not out of the woods yet. They will see that we are gone and come after us, what are we going to do?

Satyr: We are going to have to make a deal.

Pillz: There they are!

Satyr: Wait! Hold it. I surrender.

Gweg: It's not going to be that easy Satyr. You basically raped my girlfriend. I'll never be able to look at her the same way now that you have gotten your hands on her.

Satyr: Ok. I made a mistake. I'm willing to make up for it.

Gweg: You bet your ass you will.

One month later.


Gweg: Why are you still looking miserable? You should be happy, your porno is a hit.

Satyr: Get the fuck away from me. That wasn't my porno. You guys scrapped my porno.

Gweg: Oh come on. It never would have been as popular as "Brokeback Satyr" turned out to be.

Satyr: I hate this ending.

The End.

Secret Ending Number 2

Gweg couldn't believe what he was watching on TV.

There was Satyr, fucking Gweg's mother up the ass.

The rage that filled Gweg's eyes was indescribable.

Satyr turned toward the camera while pumping into Gweg's mom.

Satyr: See what you made me do? Now I have to fuck this bag of bones because you couldn't get me a real chick fuck. Do us a favor and start the DVD over.

Gweg: I'm am going to kill him with my bare hands.

Marie: Ok. I have seen enough. Listen Gweg, I really like you, but I don't think I can be apart of this , this world anymore. Your roommate fucking your mother in a porno. I know I'm a little bit of a freak when it comes to sex, but this is just too much.

Gweg: I didn't know about this!

Marie: I know, that's what is making this harder. I'm sorry Gweg, I wish things could have turned out better.

Marie walked out the door and out of Gweg's life.

Gweg was so pissed he couldn't even move. He stayed there, sitting on the couch, and didn't move until Satyr had walked into the room the next morning.

Satyr: That was one hell of a party Gweg! Oh my, still wearing the same clothes from last night. Tell me you got some Gweg.

Gweg: No, I didn't. But you sure did.

Gweg picked up the DVD case for "Choose Your Porn Adventure" and threw it at Satyr.

Satyr caught it and stared at it.

Satyr: How much of this did you see?

Gweg: Just the apart where you were boning my mother.

Satyr: Oh shit.

Gweg jumped off of the couch and pounced on Satyr. They struggled and threw punches at one another. Gweg managed to get the upper hand and started strangling Satyr.

During the struggle, Satyr's HARM Ray Gun had gotten out of his pocket.

Gweg: I'm going to kill you Satyr. You had sex with my mom and you scared off my girlfriend. Only watching the life drain out of you by my own two hands will give me satisfaction!

Satyr saw the gun lying beside him and managed to grab it. He shot Gweg with it.

Satyr: Damn it. That was the last dose. If only I could remember how to invent there damn things again after I invent them the first time. Damn Dark Lords.

Satyr pushed Gweg of of him and started massaging his throat.

Satyr: Damn you Gweg, you certainly did a number on me.

Gweg: I'm sorry master.

Satyr: Well, there's something I'd never thought I would hear from you. Anyway Gweg, you are going to forget you ever saw me having sex with your mother.

Gweg: Ok.

Satyr: And when you wake up from this trance, you will believe that Marie left you because you can't perform worth a shit in bed.

Gweg: Ok.

Satyr: And you are going to clean the entire apartment and then go to bed.

Gweg: Ok.

Gweg spent the next four hours cleaning the apartment while Satyr watched TV. When Gweg was finished, he did as he was told and went to bed.

An hour later, Gweg came out of the bed room looking like hell.

Satyr: Well, good morning sleepy head. How was your date last night?

Gweg: Don't start in on me. I'm not in the mood.

Satyr: I'm sorry. So, will we be seeing more of your girlfriend around here?

Gweg: No, we broke up last night.

Satyr: Whatever for?

Gweg: We just knew things weren't going to work out.

Satyr: Well, that's a shame. I'm sorry I never got to meet her.

Gweg: I'm not. And let's just drop the subject shall we. I feel like I have a hangover.

Satyr: You don't even drink.

Gweg: I know. Just shut-up.

The phone started ringing.

Gweg grumbled and picked it up.

Gweg: Hello. Oh, hi. Yes, use he is. But why do you want to.... Oh alright.

Gweg took the phone off of his ear ant put his hand over the mouthpiece and spoke to Satyr.

Gweg: It's my mother. Why in the hell does she want to talk to you?

The End.

Secret Ending Number 1

Gweg couldn't believe what he was seeing on his TV.

Satyr was sitting at a kitchen table eating a dinner with Gweg's mother.

Satyr turned toward the camera.

Satyr: You don't actually think I'm going to screw this old broad do you? Why don't you do us both a favor and restart this DVD so I can get me a piece of ass.

Gweg: That son of a bitch.

Marie: That was your mother?

Gweg: Yes. I'm going to kill that piece of shit for putting her into a porno. He has finally crossed the line with me. I need to find out where this party is.

Gweg got onto the computer and went into Satyr's files.

Gweg: I found out that he writes a list of things he wants to accomplish the next day before he goes to bed. Usually he forgets to do it, but I might get lucky. He doesn't think I know or that I look through his stuff, but I've learned to be more cautious.

Gweg found what he was looking for.

Gweg: Good. Seems this party is being held at the studio apartment where he did some of the filming. I'm going, I'm sorry to cut this night off so shortly, but I have to do this.

Marie: I understand, I can't help but feel this is somehow my fault.

Gweg: No, it's not. This is his fault. And partly mine. I've let him get away with this shit for far too long. Now it ends tonight.

Marie: I'm coming with you.

Gweg: I don't know how this is going to turn out. I'll feel much better if you stay here.

Marie: I don't want anything happening to you Gweg. I haven't told you this, but meeting you has renewed my faith in God and has given me a new sense of hope. I'll feel much safer if I'm there by your side.

The look on her face and tears forming in her eyes was enough to change Gweg's mind. There was no possible way to say no to her now.

Gweg: I love you Marie.

Marie: I love you too.

They left the apartment and got into Gweg's station wagon. Little did they know that they were being watched.

Gweg found the apartment, which Satyr had conveniently left directions to on the computer.

Gweg: I want you to stay behind me at all times.

Marie. Ok.

They got out and went into the apartment.

There were 20 people crammed in there, all watching "Choose Your Porn Adventure" on a big screen TV.

Satyr saw Gweg and Marie walking in.

Satyr: Hey peeps! It's my good buddy Gweg! Let's all welcome him to the party!

Gweg: I saw the porno.

Satyr: And what exactly did you see on it?

Gweg: My mother.

Satyr: Now listen Gweg, I didn't do anything to her.

Gweg: I know, but the mere fact that you put her in the vile garbage you call a film is cause enough alone to warrant what I'm about to do to you.

Gweg held up a pistol and pointed it at Satyr.

Satyr: Put that thing away.

Gweg: No Satyr, you are going to get what you deserve.

Gweg was too busy concentrating on Satyr, he didn't here a figure walk up behind him and Marie.

Satyr saw who it was and his eyes grew wide, he tried to say something, but the words didn't come out.

Cyber saw him to, but wasn't alarmed. He knew the man was the financial backer for the film.

Satyr had ran out of funds, or at least he said he did, by renting the studio apartment for a month and buying furniture for the place. After he ran out of money, Satyr asked Cyber to secure a loan for him.

Cyber found a peculiar website that might could have helped him. The owners of the website sat up a meeting between Cyber and the financial backer.

He agreed to give Cyber all the money he needed in exchange for 60% of the profit made from the film. Cyber agreed, but never told Satyr about this. Cyber didn't care, but he wasn't expecting to get paid by Satyr anyway.

So when the financial backer showed up, Cyber thought he was just there for the party. He was wrong.

The man had walked up behind Marie and grabbed her. Gweg whipped around and fired his gun at the man. The bullet struck the man right in the chest, but it did no harm.

The Man: You should be more careful with that when I am holding the woman you love in my arms.

Satyr: There is something familiar about all of this.

Gweg was so shocked by what was happening, that when he came to his sense and realized who the man was, he lost control of his bladder.

The man saw this and smiled.

The Man: I'm glad you remember me Gweg.

Gweg: How could I ever forget you, Zexotellian.

Zexotellian, The (former) Dark Lord of the 7th Netherworld let out a vicious laugh.

Zexotellian: ?I'll now have my vengeance against you Gweg. The Nether Gods made me the ruler of the 8th Netherworld after that little stunt you pulled! I was the laughing stock among all of the Dark Lords. So, when I get called up to fund a little money for this porno, I took the opportunity to plan my revenge against you. Laugh at me, Bah,! They will admire me when they have found out what I have done. I am Zexotellian! The Nether Gods will beg me to take back my throne in the 7th Netherworld! Even though when I do this, I will be automatically transported back to the Netherworlds, it will be well worth it.

Zexotellian twisted Marie's head right off of her shoulders, covering Gweg in her blood.

Black smoke started surrounding Zexotellian.

Zexotellian: Ha Ha! Zexotellian always gets his revenge! 7th Netherworld, here I come!

Zexotellian disappeared.

Gweg stood there in shock. He turned back towards Satyr.

Gweg: This is all of your fault!

Satyr: I didn't know Zexotellian was here! It was Cyber, he's the one that had to call him!

Cyber: Yeah I did, but I didn't know you guys had pissed him off!

Gweg lifted his gun and shot it at Satyr. Gweg's eyes were filled with tears and it caused him to miss.

Satyr: Holy shit! Tackle him!.

Nobody moved a muscle. Gweg started movie towards Satyr. Satyr reached into his pocket and pulled out the HARM Ray.

Satyr: I didn't want to have to do this Gweg.

Satyr shot Gweg with the gun. He went over to him and whispered into his ear.

Satyr: Gweg, you will now go home and forget any of this has happened. That includes what happened to Marie, seeing Zexotellian, and seeing your mom in the porno. When you wake up, you will believe that Marie was killed a freak helicopter accident. Her head was cut off by the propeller. Ok?

Gweg: Ok.

Gweg got up, stepped over Marie's body, and got into his car and went home.

Cyber: What in the hell are we supposed to do with that body?

Satyr looked down at the body. He then looked at one of the party guest, who happened to be a popular male porn star, then he looked down at his HARM ray.

One dose left.

Satyr: Don't worry Cyber, I've got an idea.


The Choose Your Porn Adventure sold pretty well. Satyr didn't see as much money coming from that as he had hoped, but oh well. His other porno, The Headless Corpse Bride, didn't do too well in the market.

You win some, you lose some.

The End.

Choices

Satyr thought to himself, "Fuck it, it's my apartment, I'll do whatever I damn well please".

Satyr entered the room.

Satyr: Honey, I'm home.

Gweg: Damn. I was hoping you would be out all night.

Satyr: Sorry to spoil your fun.

Satyr's eyes locked in on the figure sitting next to Gweg. She was a gorgeous blonde, 5 foot, 8 inches, with a great rack and a great figure to go along with it.

It took all the strength Satyr could muster to keep himself from pounding on his chest and letting out a primal yell.

Satyr: Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?

Gweg: I hadn't planned on it.

Marie: It's ok Gweg. My name is Marie. You must be Satyr. A pleasure to meet you.

Satyr: I can assure you, the pleasure is all mine.

Satyr walked over to kiss Marie on the hand, but that look in Gweg's eyes caused him to back off.

Satyr: I can see that you two want some privacy, so I'm going to go straight to my room.

Gweg: Thanks. I appreciate that.

Satyr went into his room and immediately got on his new cell phone. He dialed up Cyber.

Cyber: Yes boss, what is it?

Satyr: I have just come across the perfect star for our film. I need you to get all of the information on her you can get.

Cyber: What's her name?

Satyr: Shit! I only have her first name. It's Marie.

Cyber:Ugh. What does she look like.

Satyr described her to him.

Cyber: Well, it'll take a little longer than usual, but I'll get her info tonight and email it to you.

Satyr: You are a hacker god, Cyber.

Cyber: Don't you forget it. I want a couple of scenes with her, if you know what I mean.

Satyr: Don't worry Cyber, your wish is her command.

They let out a laugh.

Out in the living room, the movie was coming to an end.

Marie: Even though it's a happy ending, I always cry.

Marie looked over at Gweg and saw a tear streaming down his eye.

She leaned over and kissed him.

To Gweg, the kiss lasted forever. In reality, it only lasted several seconds.

Marie: We'll have to continue this tomrrow Gweg. I've got a meeting very early in the morning, but I'll get off of work early too. So, I'll see you later.

Gweg: Alright.

Marie kissed him again and left the apartment.

Satyr: Ooooohhh, you dog you.

Gweg: What happened to that privacy you were going to give us.

Satyr: I gave it to you. I just had to use the bathroom.

Gweg: Well, you just stay away from her.

Satyr: Don't worry Gweg. I'll let you have your little fun. I've got my own things going on.

Gweg: Glad to hear it.

The next day.

Marie left her meeting in a hurry. She knew that God had delivered Gweg to her. She had been praying to Him to deliver her a good man to settle down with. She was a bit worried to see that Gweg's roommate looked like the Devil himself, but just because God sets you down the right path, it doesn't mean He won't put obstacles in your way.

Marie was in such a rush to get to her car, she didn't see the man standing in front of her. She bumped right into him.

Marie: I'm sorry sir. I wasn't paying....

The man she had ran into wasn't a man at all, it was Satyr.

Satyr: That's quite all right Marie. You know, it's a funny thing bumping into you here.

Marie: Is it?

Satyr: Yes, you see, I was praying to, uh God, to delivery me the perfect star for this movie I am doing, and last night I saw you.

Marie: I'm sorry, I don't know what you are talking about.

Satyr: Good. It's going to stay that way.

Satyr pulled out his HARM Ray and shot it at Marie.

A van pulled up and Cyber got out of the back. He and Satyr lifted Marie up and put her in the back of the van.

Satyr: Let's go, we've got a lot to do and a short time to do it in.


Gweg was starting to get worried. Marie had called him on her break and told him she would be getting off at work at 2. It was now 3.

Gweg tried calling her cell phone again, but there was still no answer.

Gweg didn't know what to do.

Click here to have Gweg go out and look for Marie.

Click here to have Gweg wait for Marie to call him.

Choices

Satyr decided to head back to the studio apartment and leave Gweg be.

The film had been working on was what he called "Choose Your Porn Adventure".

It was a fully interactive porno DVD, in which you make the choices for the porno's main star. You would choose which women he picked up, where he would take them, and how he would have sex with them.

Satyr was not only directing and producing this project, but he was going to be the main star in it as well.

When he got to the studio apartment, Satyr found Cyber Centaur there cleaning up.

Cyber: Hey Satyr, you're not back here to do more filming are you? I can't believe how much you already got done today.

Satyr: Don't forget, I'm a satyr, I'm built for this stuff. Anyway, we've done all the filming we are going to do here. Tomorrow we'll shoot the pick-up scenes at the bar, and then we'll film the sex scenes in the back of the Buick.

Cyber: Sounds good. What are you doing back here then?

Satyr: Oh, Gweg managed to get some chick to hang out with him back at the apartment. He better not have found my gun.

Cyber: How many doses you got left on that thing?

Satyr: Two. After I left here yesterday, I got pulled over again. I used a dose on the cop. Made him pull over this elderly couple that was driving 45 on highway. He ended up beating the old man to death with his nightstick. He's on probabtion. Of course, he now doesn't recall doing it, but oh well. Then I had to go to the pig station and erase the dispatch lady's memory and had her change the call logs and all that to get rid of any record I was pulled over that day. It was a mess.

Cyber: Maybe you shouldn't be speeding?

Satyr: You've seen my fucking car. It was built for speed. It's not like Gweg's fucking station wagon, the one we had to use to cart your llama ass around in.

Cyber: All right sorry.

Satyr: Fucking Gweg! He couldn't bother to tell me he's got a girlfriend now. I cannot believe the nerve of that guy sometimes. After all that I have done for him.

Cyber: Maybe he wanted some privacy.

Satyr: Fuck him! You know what. I've got a great idea. We've got one more scene to film here tomorrow before we move on to the bar.

Cyber: What do you have in mind.

Satyr: Oh, you'll see. You'll see.


Meanwhile, Gweg and Marie were just getting done watching the movie.

Marie: God, it's such a happy ending, but it always makes me cry.

Marie turned over to look at Gweg and saw a tear streaming down his eye as well. She leaned over and kissed him.

To Gweg, the kissed went on for an eternity, but it only lasted for several seconds.

Marie stopped kissing him and looked into his eyes.

Marie: We are going to have to continue this later, I'm afraid. I've got a meeting early in the morning, but that means I'll be getting out of work earlier too, see you then?

Gweg: You bet.

Marie kissed him again and said goodbye. Gweg felt euphoric, but he couldn't ignore the the feeling of dread deep down inside him.

"You're being too paranoid", he told himself. But that feeling remained.

A week went by. Satyr had spent most of his time working on his film, while Gweg was spending time with Marie.

It was on the ninth day that Satyr had finished his project.

Satyr: Well Gweg, I'm all finished.

Gweg: So I that means that you'll be spending most of your time back here then.

Satyr: A simple "congratulations" would be nice. But no, I get your usual sourpuss response. You know, it's a wonder you even got that woman.

Gweg: I told you not to ever bring her up in a conversation. I won't have you poison her with your very existence.

Satyr: I haven't even met the chick.

Gweg: And I'm going to keep that way as long as I can. If this new film is going to make you so rich, why don't you go out and get your own place.

Satyr: And leave you here alone? Please, you could never afford this place alone on your income.
Gweg: Maybe I'll move in with Marie.

Satyr: You don't have the guts my friend. Hell, you haven't even went all the way with her yet.

Gweg: What the fuck do you know about it?

Satyr: I've known you long enough, I can just tell.

Gweg: Well, it's none of your fucking business! Marie is going to be here tomorrow night, and I don't want you to be.

Satyr: Who are you to tell me where I can or cannot be?

Gweg: Fine, I'm asking as a favor, please be somewhere else tomorrow.

Satyr: I bet that damn near killed you to say that. You don't have to worry, tomorrow my film gets released onto the world, and there's going to be a little party to celebrate it that night. And I expect the party to go on early into the next morning.

Gweg: Good. I'm glad that's settled.

The next day came and Gweg was getting things ready for his date with Marie that night.
Satyr had left a few hours earlier to go to that party he was talking about.

Marie had called and told Gweg to get ready for a fantastic night. Gweg had the feeling that tonight was going to be the night they consummate their relationship.

Marie had shown up with a sly smile on her face.

Marie: I've got a surprise Gweg, but I don't know how you'll react.

Gweg: What is it.

Marie: I want us to go all the way tonight Gweg, but I kind of have this thing were I need to watch a porno to get myself into the mood.

Gweg: That's alright. If that's what you need.

Marie: I'm so glad you understand. I got this new porno that just came out today, it's called "Choose Your Porn Adventure" and it's supposed to be a fantastic porn experience.

Gweg should have made the connection, but he didn't. He wasn't thinking too clearly with his head...well the right one anyway.

Marie popped in the DVD and sat down on the couch, controller in hand.

Marie: You are sure we are not going to have any interruptions?

Gweg: Yes, I'm sure.

The DVD came on and Marie pressed play. They were greeted by a face Gweg knew all too well.

(On the TV) Satyr: Hello. My name is Satyr and this is the world's first "Choose Your Porn Adventure"! You will guide me and make my decisions for me as I go for a sexual romp. So, I beg you, please choose wisely. Let's get started.

Gweg: Oh my holy god!

Marie: That's not your roommate is it?

Gweg: Yes it is.

Marie: I am so sorry Gweg! I had no idea.

Gweg: It's all right, it's not your fault.

Marie: I'm sorry, tonight was going to be special. And this was the only porno I brought.

Gweg: That's ok, I found a few that Satyr hasn't returned to the video rental yet, we can watch one of those.

Marie: Dang. I really wanted to see what this was going to be all about.

On the TV, the video camera had followed Satyr into a bar. Satyr was talking to some bar slut and the option came on as to whether or not the viewer wanted Satyr to have sex with her or not.

Gweg: Give me that controller, I'm going to get a little bit of satisfaction from this DVD.

Marie: What are you going to do?

Gweg: I'm going to make him turn down all of these women.

And Gweg did just that. There were 10 women in all the Satyr was hitting on. After Gweg had Satyr turn down the last one, new footage of Satyr came on the screen.

Satyr: Well, it seems as though none of those chicks was good enough for us. That only leaves me with this option.

The scene changed. Gweg let out a scream!

Gweg: Mom!!!

Click here for Surprise Secret Ending Number One.

Click here for Surprise Secret Ending Number Two.

Choices

Gweg went over to the woman.

Gweg: Is this seat taken?

The woman looked up at Gweg and smiled. As they looked into each other's eyes, they knew there was an instant attraction between the two of them.

The Woman: Not at all, feel free to sit down.

Gweg did. The two had a good conversation. Her name was Marie Sanders and she was a fact checker for a magazine. Gweg was quickly falling in love.

After two hours, Marie had to leave, they agreed to go out to a movie the next day.

After Gweg had left the apartment, Satyr pondered what his next move should be.

Satyr: This movie is in production. All I have to do is beat them to the punch. Get my movie out before theirs, and I'll be known as the innovator of the Choose Your Own Adventure Movie.

Satyr called up Cyber Centaur.

Satyr: Yo, Cyber. Is that studio apartment still available to rent in your building?

Cyber: Yes it is, why?

Satyr: I need it to make my movie.

Cyber: How are you going to afford all of that?

Satyr: I still got a ton of money left over from that whole hurricane ordeal. You still got that video camera?

Cyber: I've got five different cameras.

Satyr: Good, I'll be over in a little bit.

Satyr hung up the phone and went into his room. He grabbed the HARM Ray Gun and the suitcase full of money.

Satyr left the apartment with a big smile on his face.

Later that night, Satyr returned home to find Gweg sitting on the couch with a big smile on his face.

Satyr: What are you so happy about?

Gweg: I had a very productive walk. Where have you been?

Satyr: I've been setting up for the movie I'm about to shoot.

Gweg: Movie?

Satyr: Yes, a Choose Your Own Adventure Movie. I expect to be done with principle photography in a week.

Gweg: Done in a week? How? You know what? No, I don't want to know about it. I had a very good day, and I don't need your crap to ruin it.

Satyr: Good, I didn't want to explain it to you anyway. In fact, it would be best if you just stay out of my way while I'm doing this thing.

Gweg: Good! You've got a deal, I'm going to bed.

Satyr: I'm staying up. I've got to do some quick research for my film, so if you wouldn't mind, I need all the privacy I can get in here.

Gweg: Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of interrupting you.

Gweg went into his room. Satyr watched him with a slight smile on his face.

Satyr reached into the sack he brought home and pulled out the contents. It was five DVD's.

Five pornographic DVD's.

Satyr spent the night watching them. It was the first time in his history that he was able to watch an entire porno from begining to end.

Satyr watched the the pornos well into the morning, taking notes and managing to keep "other activities" to a minimal.

Afterwards, Satyr went to bed for a few hours, got up, and went to the studio apartment to meet Cyber and get back to work.

Gweg had gotten up the same time as Satyr. Satyr had seemed in a rush to get somewhere. Satyr had told Gweg he was going to be out until much later in the night.

Gweg thought that was a good thing.

Gweg went about his usual daily routine. About 6 PM, Gweg took a shower and prepared for his date with Marie.

Gweg called Marie up to see where she wanted to meet.

Gweg: Hi Marie, it's me Gweg.

Marie: Hi Gweg! How have you been?

Gweg: Good. You?

Marie: I've been great!

Gweg: Well, that's good. So, we still on for tonight?

Marie: Well, I really don't feel like going out to a theater tonight.

Gweg felt his heart sink into his stomach.

Gweg: Well, that's fine.

Marie: I'd rather come over to your place and watch a movie there, if that's all right with you.

Gweg felt his spirits lift again.

Gweg: Yeah, that would be great.

Gweg gave her directions and hung up the phone. Gweg was looking forward to spending some time with Marie, watching a movie on the couch, then a horrible realization suddenly occurred to him.

What if Satyr came home and walked in on them?

Gweg got worried. His mind started racing. What would Satyr do? Maybe they could go to her place? When was Satyr coming back?

Gweg sat down and calmed himself. Satyr said he wouldn't be back until much later that night. Maybe they could watch the movie, do some talking, and call it a night before Satyr got home.

But Gweg didn't think he was going to be that lucky. There was a knock on the door. It couldn't be Marie already, could it?

It was.

Gweg invited her inside.

Marie: Wow, I cannot believe I only live five minutes away from here.

Gweg: Niether can I.

Marie: Well, what movie do you have picked out for us?

Gweg: There's my DVD's over there, why don't you pick out something.

Marie looked over Gweg's DVD's. As she was doing this, Gweg decided to tell her about Satyr.

Gweg: Marie, I have a roommate who is a little unordinary. Actually, he's a lot unordinary. Anyway, he's out doing God knows what and I don't know when he'll be back. And he's a satyr.

Marie: A satyr? You mean the goat men.

Gweg: Yes. He calls himself "Satire", but he spells it the same as satyr. Don't ask me why. Anyway, if he comes back while you are here, I'll do my best to make sure he doesn't bother us, but I can't guarantee anything.

Marie: Tonight's going to be a good night Gweg, and your roommate won't change that. I've picked out The Shawshank Redemption. Want to watch that?

Gweg: You bet.

They sat down on the couch and started watching the movie. Halfway through, they were already snuggled up together. Gweg kept praying that Satyr wouldn't interrupt him.

Little did he know, that choice is up to you.

Satyr had come home from a hard day's work on his new project. He reached for the door to the apartment when he heard a female voice speaking inside.

Female Voice: Oooh. I love this scene.

Gweg: Yeah, it's one of my favorites too.

So, Gweg has got himself a little lady in there. Now, it was his apartment too, So Satyr had every right to go in there, but maybe it was time to cut Gweg a little slack.

What to do, what to do? Hmmmm.

Click here if you want Satyr to go into the apartment.

Click here if you want Satyr to leave Gweg alone.

Well, I'd hate to tell you, but you chose wrong. Gweg asking the chick out is a focal point for the adventure. Way to go.

Now you have to start all over.


Hit the back button to start all over, jerk.